If you have been in the ministry long enough, and have been challenged by the devil, people and situations, you will not need anyone to tell you that it can be difficult for a senior pastor’s wife to have many close friends other than their husbands.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a wife making her husband her best friend, but sometimes you need someone of the same sex, not lesbianism, but a friend whom you can fellowship with without fear of your private issues being discussed all over the world.
The Bible says that friendship is a defense and wisdom is also a defense. Here are four things for you to consider.
Do not be in a hurry. Spend time with GOD and allow the HOLY SPIRIT to lead you. GOD knows who is best qualified to be your close friend. While the Bible commands us to love everyone, the Bible never instructs us to place our trust or confidence in any human being.
Ask yourself this question, why do I need a close friend? While it is absolutely human to have friends, it is also prudent for you to examine your motives for everything you do. The reason is simple, God will only bless things that we do with pure motives. If you want GOD to give you quality friends that will be mutually beneficial, you must make sure that your motives are right in the very beginning. The foundation of the friendship must be God centered; otherwise, the devil will get into the relationship and use the friend to vex you, your family, and the ministry.
Involve your husband when you are considering someone as your close friends. This does not mean that you are not independent to some extent, but in ministry, friendship is an instrument of war. If you have wrong close friends it will only be a matter of time before the devil will use them to attack you and your ministry.(1Cor. 15:33), says that a bad company can corrupt good morals. Take heed to the WORD of GOD, involve your husband, don’t be hasty, it is more beneficial for two of you to agree than for you to do your own thing with friends that is based on flesh.
Never make anyone your best friend because you need them, Generally, in ministry, people will always disappoint you the moment they realize that you are dependent on them. I can’t really explain it, but this is really truth. You must trust GOD completely for all your needs, including your desire for having a close friend. Remember that GOD, your husband, and children are really your true friends. Learn to enjoy each other and make the decision to get along with each other. Sometimes church members come along with each other. Sometimes church members come and go, and the only real persons there for you in all situations are, GOD, your husband, and children. Learn from Jesus Christ, our LORD. HE had twelve friends, and three closest friends. But when HE needed them the most, at Gethsemane, they all abandoned him, and the only person that was there for HIM, was God and HIS Angels ministering to Him.
