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DECEIVED BY A BIBLE CARRYING LOAFER AND LIAR INTO MARRIAGE. NOW AFTER FOUR CHILDREN, WHAT CAN SHE DO?
A lady here contacted me recently, asking for my number. I knew it has to do with counselling so Pronto I sent it to her. This is what I got from her on my WhatsApp two days ago. I want you all to read, especially you young ladies who think everything that glitters is gold. Open your eyes before you open your legs. When a guy comes to toast you holding a Bible or driving in a posh car, the car might not be his. He might even be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Better ask God for direction. Read this unedited story and kindly drop your advice for this my friend.
Good afternoon sir. Thanks for giving me your number. My name is…. , by Dec 8th my marriage will be 10yrs old and I have lived unhappily for about 9 yrs of the Union. Am constantly angry, bitter, frustrated and unhappy. Only my four children are my consolation in this marriage and I don’t know how long I can go on like this.
I meet my husband in a family friend’s wedding, although I didn’t actually see him but he spoke to the groom that spoke to my elder sister and she introduced him to me.
Right from when he came I told him I wasn’t interested in casual relationship or sleeping around. He said it is marriage he wanted cos he wants to settle down. Every time he comes visiting he’s with his Bible, either coming from or going to church. When we talk on phone he must add Bible join or send me text from Bible passage. When I eventually visited his house I saw he had few furniture but plenty Christian books and tapes. All these made me happy that I have a God fearing man that I can build with cos he had big dreams of what he wants to accomplish.
After our wedding, a lady kept coming to look for him with very angry face and he will always excuse her out to talk but one day she refused to follow him and started shouting that is when I realized one material he gave me for our Thanksgiving dress which he said he bought in the market was collected from her on credit and suppose to have been paid for before the marriage. Sir, all the things he did for the marriage were on credit and they all started coming for their money. But alas it was all a Mirage which I woke up into the very week after the wedding. Things started unfolding that made me realize I had been deceived.
I never knew about all this. The marriage expenses was almost carried out by my family o. My elder brother Gave us money for cow, his wife paid for the cake, my elder sis paid for canopy, chair, decoration, video and pics. They did all this not because we are so wealthy but cos am the last girl just like baby of the house and my dad died the previous year before.
During our marriage class In church of God mission my husband said he is an accountant and stated his salary. But when Cleaning the house I saw his payslip that he is a clerk and the sal is not up to one third of what he says he earns. Upon that he took a loan for two years before we meet which he was still paying then. He did not tell me all these before we married o. Ok what did you do with this kind big loan, after much stress he said he wanted to travel out but it didn’t work out.
I swallowed all and decided to put it behind, I meet a friend that could help him for work in a better place so I discussed with my husband. For him to bring his cv and Photocopies of credentials was war. Every day different stories eventually he said he left his documents in his mother house so I went there to get it only to get there she said nothing was kept in her house. I was totally pissed off and went back home boiling for a fight.
When I confronted him he then confess that he was not a graduate, only had ssce. Hmmmmm, I was dumb founded. This is someone that is always carrying Bible and behaving like a saint. He even filled It in our marriage form. I started playing back every thing and realized 90% of all he said were lies.
He is fake, insincere, a fraud that deceived me into marriage to frustrate me. He could not pay rent, feeding was problem, infact he could not do anything. The work he had was a government job and he was not even going. That’s how he missed a screening and lost the job. I had to fall back on my family and friends for help.
He has had four jobs since he left the government job but they last for few months and sometimes he stays almost two years before getting a job. In that period of no job he doesn’t see the necessity of doing something to bring money. Even when he gets job the sal range is btw 70 – 90k and he has to remove for himself before sending to us. I have traded until we ate profit and capital. Carry goods from people to sell and pay them when am thru. Also worked in two different places.
The fact remains that whether I have income or not my husband leaves everything for me to do. Even when I tell him no money with me and no food at home he no send. Twice recently the children have slept on empty stomach cos he did not bring anything.
The hardship I didn’t see in my parents house I have seen it 100% in marriage. Infact we are just house mates now. I see him as someone out to frustrate me. Sometimes we stay months and no sex. Every feeling I have for him is dead. Am the one landlord asks for rent, I pay fees infact I do almost everything.
My pastor is aware, they spoke to him and he said he is looking for job. Before you get the job won’t you do any other thing to take care of your family and lessen the burden on your wife so peace can reign. This marriage is like a bone in my neck.
I am tired. I need to escape. I need help.
Am just 36years. This load is too much for me o.