Are you experiencing a happy marriage? Once again, let me say congratulations, my friend. If any marriage survives 10 years, the couple deserves a big congratulations. Marriage is a mystery. Two strange people coming together to live together for life.
Coming from different backgrounds, with different feelings, urbanism, past, experience and yet expected to have the same expectations. It’s no joke.
I am not always surprised to see some marriages crumble no sooner than they started. I’ve seen marriages that do not last two months, one year, two.
I have asked, were they blind to have chosen one another? Who forced them to the altar? The woman uses Otumorpor for the man or na the man wayo the babe?
When I picked my wife, I was ready psychologically, emotionally, though not financially. But I knew that finance was a matter of time. I was well tutored by life to know that my wife will not be perfect, neither would i.
I should be ready to overlook, forebear, forgive and to know that I would be dealing with physically weaker sex but a physiologically stronger vessel.
With love, hard work and understanding, we will make it. Today we are progressing steadily. Praise Jesus.
MENTORING WITH BOLA ADEWARA: WHEN DOES FOR BETTER OR WORSE APPLY IN MARRIAGE?
PHYSICAL ABUSE AND DIVORCE: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION
Not many people will call their wives/husbands SWEETHEART after 10 years. Not many. So many are just enduring themselves.
Some are physically living together but they are thousands of kilometres away. Some develop fears and unhappiness when it’s time to go home. For homes like this, I pray God will reveal Himself to them.
I have a friend who told me that his wedding ring burns his finger anytime he wears it. I asked why? He said he caught his wife in adultery but he could not send her away because she is the breadwinner. She puts the food on the table. She pays the children’s school fees. This man is in a deep shit! Walai, I no envy the man one penny!
I know some people will say he should ask for divorce immediately. But is divorce the answer? Is there no alternative to separation and or divorce? I think I know. The good book showed me an alternative: Forgiveness. As long as there is no physical abuse in marriage, as long as there is no physical threat to life in a marriage, there is nothing I cannot forgive.
Forgiveness is work. Every happy marriage that lasts long has a long history of forgiveness. Ask our fathers and mothers, or elders who celebrate 30, 40. 50 years of marriage.
Marriage is nothing but a continuous act of forgiveness. If your spouse has offended you, and you are not communicating, this morning I beg you in the name of the living God, stand up right now, walk to him/her and say, “Darling, I love you. Let us make peace. I want this marriage to work. I want a sweet home.”
Nothing can be sweeter than happy marriage and a home where the man and wife are happy. That is the difference between a HOUSE and a HOME. That is my home. This morning, I present this to you as an example. May you have a home. A sweet home. In Jesus name.
- By Bola Adewara.
