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B MY HUSBAND KEEPS INSULTING ME OVER MY BODY AND MY HELPLESS PAST.
I am married with two sons. I got married about five years ago. I am a graduate of Imo State University and im from… He is from… and a product of Abu.
Before marriage we engaged in premarital sex so my husband cant say he did not see my body before coming into marriage. I am not particular about looks or body and as much as possible I know I am not looking bad. Uncle Bola please check my pictures. I am a knockout any day.
After I had my first child, I noticed that my husband started passing some comments about pointed breasts of women. There was a day he said some women still have their breasts pointed even after four children. I told him that is how God created them and it is not their own making. He said how come my own breasts have fallen irredeemably and that he never enjoyed my breast ever since we got married. He said my virginal is… He said so many horrible things about me anytime we have quarrels. He even told me once that I must have used juju on him because he never imagined he would settle for an expired old woman like me pretending to be a young girl.
Uncle Bola I swear with the graves of my father and mother that I did not destroy myself before marriage or before meeting him. I had sexual relationship with only three or four men before meeting him. I made love to three of them may be once or twice each. I dated one man for over five years because I thought that was the guy I would marry until I noticed that his mother is against me. That was the only relationship I can say I had sex properly. I couldn’t force myself into that marriage. He was the guy who deflowered me. I left him and the first man to come after him seven months after was a hit and run. Only once. The second one after six months was a loafer who has no job and no direction in life, posing with his father’s car and friends in top top places. He was not the kind of man I wanted. So I left him. i think we made love twice before I realized who he was.
The last guy I met in a church. How that happened I cant even say. We made love, was that even love…in his car. I think I was just careless and it’s a thing I regret all the days of my life. These are the men in my life. Mine is even better. Some women have even lost counts. When I met my husband, I told him my life history. How my father and mother died in motor accident when coming to see me in the University, how I matured up over night to became the mother if my siblings, how different men came to pretend to help us with ulterior motive to take me to bed, how God saved me from needless relationship and falling victims to men over how to feed and take care of my siblings, how my father’s boss adopted us and trained all of us, stood for us as father and his wife as our mother. He financed my wedding also. I told my husband all these.
I thought I would find a father in him. But no. Anytime we have a little quarrel, all he remembers is my past, how loose I was to have been sexed in a car. How three men have used me like rain water such that my breast has fallen. Uncle Bola, is it wrong for a woman to open up on her past to her husband? I did and I am regretting today.
I know my body. Ever since I started growing breasts mine has never been firm or pointed. I explained this to him. Any quarrel, he goes to my body that he has not enjoyed the wife of his youth. Uncle Bola, I am a loving wife. I am not dull in bed. I create a happy home for him and my children. Now I am scared when it’s closing time and he will come home. When he wants to make love it’s one abuse or the other and that kills my emotion.
I have not been able to take action or speak to anybody because who will I speak to except God. This man is killing me silently with these insults. He is injuring my sensibilities. I went through pains early in life. I thought I would have a happy home when I get married. This is what I get. I don’t know how to handle this, uncle Bola. Is it a mistake to open up on one’s past to ones husband? No one warned me. Perhaps my mum would have if she stayed long enough to coach me on marriage matters.