My researches, encounters, experiences and discoveries in the past years of handling relationship and love matters had opened up a lot of heartbreaks to me.
The major reason heartbreaks happen is not far-fetched. They are very close to us and are looking us in the eye without blinking.
One with a higher percentage is the issue of correction and Adjustment.
When you meet a person and you have decided to journey together maritally, there is a number of things that must be adjusted.
The corrections and adjustment are to help you both for better alignment and understanding.
The female folk might likely correct with emotions to the point that it might lead to a fight and serious harsh words. The man should understand she is only concerned.
The male folk will only correct you once or twice and if the same thing is not corrected and adjusted, the man might just keep quiet, still flowing with you not knowing he has started looking for an alternative.
The lady may not know the guy has moved on in search of someone else who will easily adjust to her excesses.
A lady may correct his man and possibly let him know that a particular issue is possibly going to hurt the relationship. The ladies most times say their minds because many of them cannot afford to keep it with pretence. And if not adjusted, she may silently start shopping for alternative also.
The guys on the other hand are likely to keep quiet to avoid being called a “Nagging” partner. However, the Silence is a time-bomb. When it explodes, it may end in tears.
“Anyone who wants to marry me must accept me the way I am and if not, it means he is not my man” I have heard the statement above a million times over. The truth is that Christ who accepts us the way we are does not leave us to remain like that. Yes! Christ continues to work on us daily through his words, pastors, counsellors, teachers till we become perfect for the Wedding of the lamb on the last day.
If Christ continues to work on us, why are we refusing to adjust to our excesses in a relationship leading to marriage?
I normally tell those close to me that “it is not easy to correct an adult”. No wonder Christ said (paraphrase) “until we have the heart of babies…we won’t be a Kingdom candidate”. We need to have a teachable heart and willing to adjust when corrected.
Only a pretender will allow you to remain the way you are. Only a pretender deceiving you will say “you are already perfect”. We are to work on each other and become the best for each other.
That so-called perfect man or woman in that marriage that you cherish so much got worked on by the partner. He/she accepts to be better daily and that’s why the union looks so interesting.
If truly he/she is the right person for you, why not just adjust now for the betterment of the both of you.
If it is your prayer life, Bible study life, or your Character, please adjust and be better.
Some are battling with anger issues. Some are reckless spenders with no savings. Some can be disrespectful and rude. All these need to be corrected and adjusted.
Respect each other and stop doing what others are doing. Ask what he sees as respect and tell him your view on the issue of how you address each other.
Accept correction and adjust. This is one of the best ways to flow without pretence.
Correct in love and be corrected too.
When correcting your partner, substantiate your move with valid reason(s), to avoid being seen as a “Fault-finder”.
Okay, let me correct you now; if you are yet to give your life to Christ, please do it now to avoid going to hell. Make a “U” turn and adjust your ways.
And if you are in a relationship with an unbelievable, you both need JESUS.
As you adjust God will help you.
I pray your marriage will be glorious in Jesus name.
I love you.
© Dr Austine Alex Emiola 2021
austinealexo@gmail.com
Love Coach
