I hope this is not too long for your reading pleasure. I have written this to speak principally to husbands... and their wives so they could enjoy the
I hope this is not too long for your reading pleasure. I have written this to speak principally to husbands… and their wives so they could enjoy their marriages. I have come to know that so many marriages are hurting all because partners don’t understand some basic things about life. Principal among the challenges is sex, which for some is nothing more than fucking each other and for a few, actual love making. I have condensed this piece from a bigger document I had written earlier on love making. I hope this humble submission will assist some couples to have greater love experience in their bid to turn their houses into homes.
You are free to agree or disagree with me. Remember these are my own opinions and I should be free to hold them. Stop Fucking your wives. Start making love to them.
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1. GENERAL DEFINITION:
SEX is a general word for sexual Intercourse between man and woman from which they hope to derive pleasurable feelings.
Sex can be broken into two, Fucking and Love Making. Fucking is a phrase that describes physical connection that leads to selfish sexual pleasure, release and gratification of a partner or both of them. A woman who collects money after sex or a man who parts with his money for the sexual relation just had a Fuck. Not Love Making.
Making Love places emphasis on deep emotional connection, affection and shared bond that develops between thoughtful lovers. If a man goes extra mile to win your attention and still persist in winning your confidence and respect even after sex with you, he was Making Love with you.
2. WITHOUT HUNDRED PERCENT CONSCIENCE AND CONCENTRATION, SEX IS A FUCK:
One of the first conditions of knowing if the sex is a Fuck or Love Making is to ask yourself if there is one hundred percent conscience and concentration in doing it. Are you comfortable or nervous about it? Do you experience any compunction or fear in your mind? Are you willingly giving yourself to the process or there is a force or condition with it? That defines Fuck and Love Making. If you are nervous about the sex you want to have, it’s not Love Making.
3. STIMULATION IS A MUST.
Let us look at the processes between Fucking and Love Making. Any sex you make without proper arousal is tantamount to Fucking. Arousal is pertinent in Love Making. Women, don’t accept to be jumped upon for any wam-bam-thank-you-ma sex. More often than not, the man is aroused and the woman is not. The reason why so many women are dull in bed is because their husbands are selfish. And when this selfishness …in not arousing them first or waiting for them to reach orgasm, persists for a long time, sex becomes an ordeal for most women.
The arousal of women in love making takes a longer time. You can go on stimulating her with foreplays for some time to get her properly aroused before you enter. Men must know the spots that arouse his partner, usually the clit, the nipples, kissing, and women who desire to enjoy sex must be ready to release herself for the experience. Women must also respond by arousing the man. Women must also know what arouses the man. It’s not a one-sided affair. By that you can both reach orgasm at relatively the same time. Men must not be selfish. 80% of women don’t reach organs in sex. That’s Fucking! Men, stop Fucking! Make Love.
(For more info on Stimulation, see 13, 14 and 15.)
4. ANYBODY YOU MAKE LOVE TO WITHOUT ANY CONFIDENCE THAT HE/SHE LOVES, CARES AND RESPECTS YOU, IS A FUCK!
Any sex you have with anybody you don’t love, know his mind, not sure of his stand with you tomorrow, sex made with sense of risk, is a Fuck!
Any sex you make with any partner that must not be seen with you is a Fuck! You dodged her into your car, sneaked her into your apartment/hotel, you are under the weight of the time paid for, your are checking his penis or virginal before copulating, its Fuck.
5. THE SETTINGS AND MOOD .
Now, more often than not, the difference between Fucking and Love Making could be in the settings and mood created for the environments where sex takes place. Look at PICTURE 1. Self respecting women, who honours their creation as the womb-man and seed carrier would ask for a Grade A settings to make her go naked. Not just any place. It is not pride. It is about your personality.
Even in your home, your bed has to look nice. Before any love is made with your husband, you bath and make your body clean. You create a beautiful ambience for the process. There is romantic touch to Love Making, not rushing into the bedroom, rush to drop the trousers and order her to remove her clothings, and no foreplay..wham on the bed. Any woman who accepts this is cheap and dishonours herself. Be self respecting. Any man who should climb on you must obey your emotions.
6. FUCKING IS A FUNCTION OF DIRTY TALK, DIRTY DESIRES, DIRTY PERFORMANCES IN OFTEN DIRTY ENVIRONMENTS FROM DIRTY MINDS
Now, Look at PICTURE 2. Fucking is often accompanied by dirty talk, dirty desires, dirty performances in often dirty environments from dirty minds of dirty humans.
When you see a woman who says
“Fuck me… hard, Fuck me hard… I am not your mother..”…
“Dip your fingers into me, make it two fingers…
“Eat my pussy…common give me hard..” Indeed, that is a Fuck.
Moaning in Love Making is not about dirty talks. Enjoyment of sex is not about dirty or gutter languages. There are sweet things women could tell their men while making love. Tell him how you are feeling about the love you are both making, how sweet he is and ask him if he is enjoying it too. If you want the velocity increased, tell him. These are sweet words to say.
7. FUCKING IS A WILD SEX:
In PICTURE 3 Fucking is a wild sexual intercourse between partners. Love Making is not energy sapping, it should not leave you breathless. Without hassles, both partners could enjoy it. Making Love is a process of treating the partner nicely. No animalistic behaviour. A process of laughter, smiles, gradual sensual arousal, methodic planning from time. Any man who takes a woman to and gets out in matters of minutes, just had a Fuck, not Love Making.
Look at PICTURE 6, the gentility with which they handle themselves make the two of them sleep off almost at the same time. You ensure the enjoyment is symbiotic, not one-sided. Love making leaves you and your partner better connected. Fucking doesn’t extend beyond sexual intercourse.
8. WHEN THERE IS NO LOVE BETWEEN COUPLES, THE REST IS FUCKING
Fucking even happens in marriage. When the love is dying, sex becomes perfunctory. Any man who sleeps with his wife without her happiness or consent or pleasure, or the wife did not go into the sex with happiness, tell him you are just Fucking me. You cannot abuse your wife in the morning and expect her to open her legs happily for you at night. If her mind is injured, her virginal is also injured. Jerusalem is a holy city. You enter it with praises and thanksgiving in your heart. If you force your penis into her, you have raped her.
9. IF YOU WANT YOUR WIFE AT NIGHT, START PREPARING HER MIND FROM THE MORNING:
Love Making has process. We should not abuse the process. Men should understand how it works for women. Every man must know how to turn on his wife. Wives must know how to invite her husband.
In most cases, if you want your wife at night, start preparing her mind from the morning. Every man should know how to get the attention of his wife. If you don’t know how to get her attention, then you are not married.
Some women accept love advances from their husbands only when he gives them money or gifts. A man once told me that if he must sleep with his wife at night, he must buy Suya for her. Well, if that is her turn on, why not? But for how long will he spend for sex? That could lead the man to reduce the session to Fucking. If you have no gift to give, ordinary care and phone call to “check how you are doing”, goes a long way.
Propose sex to your wife when she is happy and that is Love Making. No women enjoys sex when she is not happy. Stop Fucking her!
10. COUPLES WHO FIGHT ALWAYS ARE NOT LOVE MAKERS. THEY ARE FUCKERS:
There is no marriage with active Love Making that will be fraught with incessant disputes and open quarrels. Love Making creates room for proper bonding of husband and wife. When a supposed home is reduced into a theatre of conflicts, check the sexual lives of the couples. There is no way an uncooperative couple will have great sex life. No way. They only Fuck themselves!
11. LOVE MAKING IS A SLOW PROCESS OF GRINDING EACHOTHER:
When you are making love with somebody, you can go fast or slow, but you will always be paying attention to each other.
Love making is not all about screwing the woman all the time. While in bed, naked, you talk, plan, touch, run your fingers gently all over her body, your fingers on her hairs, gently caressing of her boobs, it’s not all about inserting the penis into their virginal all the time.
if you really want to learn how to make love to a guy and connect with him, don’t think so much about getting off as quickly as possible. Think more along the lines of slow, passionate grinding, caressing and embracing.
12. FLAUNT YOUR BODY BEFORE YOUR HUSBAND.
I advise women who want a great home to learn how to walk nakedly before her man. Make your body tantalize him. There is no man who still loves his wife that her body would not turn him on anytime anyday. No matter how sagged the breast is, no matter the marks on her body, what the man sees is that lady he married first day. If there is any place a woman should be an ashawo, it should be in your bedroom… with your husband. All the madness in your head, display it in your bedroom. All the gymnastics you were displaying for your boyfriends when you were single, oya start am now. Oooh women don’t fall my hands. Flaunt your bodies, enough of covering up in the bedroom.
Anytime I see baby naked in the bedroom, I dey run crazy. We are running towards 20 years in marriage. Love making is not all about sex, sex, sex.
13. INVITE YOUR HUSBANDS.
Woman, when last did you invite your husband to come and you want to make love to him? Must men do that always?
Have you ever called your husband during office hours to tell him you are on and you are closing early to wait for him at home?
Can’t you women be on top of him throughout the love making? Tell him Fridays is the Ladies Night, when the love making is championed by you. Na you go do the work. Let him just sleep. Massage his body. Turn his penis into a drumstick and your vulva (outer vagina) into the drum. That penis and blokos na you get am. Do whatever you like with them.
On week days, after bathing, don’t be in a haste to dress up. Make sure he is in the bed room while creaming your body. Bend before him as if creaming your legs. Push your butt to him and let him see the mafia. Little things like this spice up love making and love life.
14. SOME FACTS ABOUT ORAL SEX
Oral sex is defined as the act of sexual intimacy from mouth-to-penis (fellatio), mouth-to-vagina (cunnilingus) Or in slang terms: a blowjob, going down, giving head, or rimming. You can’t get pregnant from oral sex, but you can get an Sexually Transmitted Infection. (STI)
Deciding whether or not to have oral sex is a personal choice. Some people like it; others do not. You should consider your values, where you are in your relationship, how you feel about giving/receiving oral sex, how your partner feels about giving/receiving oral sex, and how you both feel about the risk of getting an STI.
Partners must be sincere to themselves and be health conscious. If you know you are not safe or clean enough for oral sex, tell your partner to leave out. Please don’t lead your partner into unhealthy sexual practice.
For those who say oral stimulation is a sin, they could proceed with tactile stimulation, fingering deep into her vagina, caressing the clitoris (for women whose clits have not been chopped away during circumcision) etc. Please remember to ask him to wash his hands with soap before fingering you. Also check if he has no long nails. Some of the diseases women have are often transferred to them from dirty hands of their partners. That is why it is safer to first have a shower before every sex.
15. WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THE BEDROOM OF MARRIED COUPLES IS ENTIRELY THEIR BUSINESS:
There is no doubt that some women reduce their sexual pleasures from Love Making to Fucking or a drab session on the platter of religion or morality.
“When I asked my wife to give me blow job,” a friend told me recently, “she said with what mouth? The mouth with which I will praise God in Church? The mouth with which I will teach in Sunday school? I can’t. I am not a prostitute”.
Some women say it makes them feel like vomiting having done it. Some express fear of diseases. Some don’t simply trust their husbands: they can’t suck the penis he dips into the vagina of several women outside.
Legitimate fears. But woman, listen and listen good: whatever happens in the bedroom of MARRIED PARTNERS is entirely their business. As long as it is not anal sex or something. If the idea is to stimulate yourselves to enjoy the sex, it violates no religious laws. Quote me.
On health issues, I have spoken on that earlier.
On trust, well, shit happens. But let me speak to you guys that before you present your indisciplined dick to your wife to suck, make sure you wash the bagga with soap.
Women, if you don’t like the experience, there are better ways to express. Not a flat “NO, I will not.” You will push him out. Tactile or oral stimulation is part of the enjoyment, once you are sure you have taken care of the health hazards. I am sure you want to ask about men sucking their wives, I am coming.
16. HOW TO STIMULATE YOURSELVES:
On stimulation, I have written on this separately. I will look for an auspicious time to publish this.
* HOW WOMEN CAN STIMULATE THEIR MEN
* HOW MEN CAN SET THEIR WIVES ON FIRE.
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