A young lady was moaning the other day that; “Where have all the Bachelors gone”? She felt the tick of the time of her life is ticking away and she co
A young lady was moaning the other day that; “Where have all the Bachelors gone”? She felt the tick of the time of her life is ticking away and she could only watch the time go by! I answered her question. I said; “They are all around, waiting”. She didn’t believe she heard me right. She asked if I don’t live in Nigeria to know that things are not easy for Bachelors themselves. Well I sat her down and gave her some tips on what ladies could do to meet Mr. Right. Allow me to share some of them with you.
A lady should have to dress well and groom herself. This is very important for any woman seriously interested in meeting Mr. Right. When it comes to your physical appearance the watchword is; “Be prepared always”! The reason is that you never know when or where you may meet that special someone. Let’s face it friends, when it comes to attracting a man, appearance does count a lot. Of course your brains, your personality and your sense of humour are all important but Mr. Right is never going to get to know about them unless he is attracted enough to take a second look at your appearance.
You see, you need not be born beautifully to get a man to look twice at you. You have to make the best of what you’ve got. So the first lesson to learn if you want to get attracted to Mr. Right is that it is very important to always be well-groomed, neat and stylish. It means everywhere you go; you have to be prepared in your appearance; whether you are going to work or market or on a social visit. You never know when you’d run into him.
It is not enough to be clean and tidy, you have to go out. You will never meet Mr. Right when you stay at home watching Television. I’m not saying that you should make husband-hunting your sole mission in life. What I mean is that you should never ignore the number of times of the possibility of meeting a man in your life. At least you’ve got to meet him first before he can be yours to marry. Mind you, it’s not just enough to meet him; you’ve got to send out some messages as well. I am talking about body language. There are things you could do to make him notice you!
“Ehnn…? Yinka! Did you say she should start acting”? No, I’m trying to say let the guy know through your actions that you are interested and you want to get to know each other. Men are everywhere! Oh! Yes! They are everywhere…at Parties, Churches, Group meetings, Social outings, and Offices, Restaurants, inside Taxis, at work, even on the streets…everywhere! Yeah, but you have to be outgoing! When you are out, don’t just sit tight at a table. You have to mingle, be friendly but not outspoken, you have to smile and don’t be a snob. Don’t frown as if all the problems of this world are on your shoulders. Men are very sensitive and respond more to body language vibes. The way a woman carries herself can be interpreted to mean; “I am available”; or “I am interested”; or “Steer clear off me”! Or she may act as if there seems to be an unseen notice board hanging down her neck that reads; “NO ADMITTANCE”! I assure you that men would respond to any message you send out.
One common mistake that ladies make is waiting to be chosen. C’mon Ladies! Take the initiative and strike up a conversation with the man you think you could be interested in. Gone are those days when women could be seen and not heard, but not anymore! This is the Jet age and you have to move with time. Remember there’s someone for everyone! If you spend your free time at places that attract the kind of man that interests you, you will likely meet Mr. Right.
It is common for Ladies to compare looks of eligible Bachelors that come to them for a relationship with actors or musicians. They have a checklist of how they want Mr. Right to look like. Thee say; the guy must be as rich as 2Face and he must be as handsome as Don Jazzy otherwise they would have nothing to do with him.
Being choosy is a very great stumbling block of making it to the Alter. Most Ladies have a preconceived idea about what they want in a man. They have decided they want good looking men, fashion conscious guys, money bags, smashing car owners and even highly educated guys. They are blinded by that checklist to the extent that they end up bye-passing a lot of great guys who if given the chance could have been the real man they want.
Another advice I’m going to give Ladies is that if you’re involved with a married man or a man who told you in words and actions that he is not interested in commitment, then you have to bark out fast because your chances of making it to the alter are slim. Think about it. Let me tell you, if you are spending all your time with Mr. Uncommitted, what are your chances of meeting a man with whom you could have a future?
The bottom line is, if you truly want to get married, staying in a dead end relationship is the worst mistake you can make. You’ve got to kiss him goodbye and get on with the business of cultivating a future for yourself. I know it could be quite painful to part but your future is much more important. Step back and re-assess. You have to know what you want.
You need to mind your language as well. Safe him all the details if you have too many painful memories of your past relationships. You don’t have to moan over it in his presence. It is a big turn off to men. Don’t tend to be talkative. Don’t let your tongue run away with you and say more than you mean.
Be open, truthful, and friendly. Be sensitive, impressionable and have a very well developed sense of intuition. Work on your instincts. It would help you to know if he is a time waster or not. Read him like a book but don’t act desperate. That’s another turn off! So be careful!
Mind your manners. There was a lady that was invited out by a guy to an Eatery and a whole chicken was ordered for the two of them. The Lady drew the tray of chicken to her self and bit by bit finished the whole chicken without looking up or offering to share with the guy. You can imagine the outcome of such an outing!
In conclusion, I would say don’t forget the place of Prayers. You need to seek the face of God to direct you to the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. I always counsel single guys and ladies that you don’t have to wait till you are of a marriageable age before you start praying to God to provide the man or woman of your own. You start doing this as early as you can pray by yourself. Mothers too have a part to play in this. There is nothing bad in committing our children’s future unto God’s hands as early as it can be.
The Bible says in the Book of Proverbs Chapter 3 verses 5-6 that; “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths”.
I pray God will direct the paths of our young Ladies in Jesus Name. Amen.
So if you are out there and you follow the little tips I have presented, you’d be attracting men the way honey attracts bees and you’d soon be hearing the wedding bells. What do you think?
Yinka Adeboye, author of two books is based in Ibadan, Oyo State.
