HOW TO INVEST IN RELATIONSHIP

Recently, I’ve come under some teachings on relationships and how to service them. Any relationship you do not service is doomed to fail. In all you do, my listeners, don’t think the other person is a fool. They may not talk or complain, but no one is blind in a relationship.

This lecture is on investing in relationships between friends. Later, I will speak on investing in the relationship between husbands and wives.

Today, I will talk about the meaning of investing in relationships with your friends and how to make the investment.

1. Investing in a relationship is a multifaceted commitment beyond exchanging emotions or companionship. It involves a deliberate and conscious effort to cultivate, nurture, and strengthen the bonds that connect individuals.
2. Much like financial investments, which require time, resources, and strategic planning, investing in a relationship demands attention, communication, and mutual understanding.
3. The essence of this investment lies in the willingness of individuals to contribute to the growth, well-being, and longevity of the friendship.Just as a diversified portfolio is crucial for financial success, diversifying emotional, intellectual, and practical efforts is essential for a resilient and fulfilling relationship.
4. This intentional investment in a relationship can lead to profound emotional dividends, creating a foundation of trust, support, and shared experiences that can withstand time.This is what we call emotional capital. Please believe that the more you invest in your relationships, the richer and more rewarding the returns become.
5. Investment in a relationship means that you care about the relationship. In other words, you’re interested in the health of the relationship.Let me explain it better: if your friend did not call you, did you call him? You have not seen her in five days. Would you care to give a shout-out? She is celebrating her birthday. Did you just go there to eat, or did you take along a good gift?She travelled to another city, did you care to go check on her children? Her husband is sick, did you care to visit him in hospital or you just made a phone call? Calling the family of the sick in the hospital is not the same as visiting the family and the sick. Lets be sensitive!
6. Investing in the relationship means adding value to a relationship and doing memorable things for people you call friends. You are investing yourself and your time in doing these things. It’s where you’re willing to give up your convenience to make others happy. The ability to compromise your feelings to get along with someone or find a middle ground.
7. That man who gave you a big amount some years ago, did you send him a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year card? Do you send him prayers once in a while? You heard her daughter is having her wedding. What did you do? Did you attend the wedding to show love?Yes, you don’t have the cash, but how did you contribute in kind? You think people don’t see? Don’t be monsters of ingratitude!
8. Last week, a friend of mine, Fatai lost his wife after so many weeks in the hospital. So many of us went to the hospital to pray for the woman, hoping the Lord would heal her. Friends trooped in and out of the hospital till the woman died last Thursday.Immediately people heard that they were taking the dead body home for burial, you need to see how people rose to go with him to bury the dead.A week later, according to Islamic tradition, they were to have a prayer session for her. The place was jam-packed. Everyone was saying Fatai deserves such support. Why, he has invested in relationships with people.

   If you pass on today, my brother, my sister, who will attend? What will people say about you in the presence of your children? What would your church say? What would your street members say? What would your old students say? Do you have friends? Have you invested in anyone’s life?

   When some people die, others would say good riddance to a pile of bad rubbish. Those who will attend will do so because of our wife; this same wife you are treating like an animal.

HOW TO INVEST IN RELATIONSHIP

Communication:
Engage in open and honest communication. Listen actively to understand the other person’s perspective. Express your thoughts and feelings clearly. When discussing with people you call your friends, don’t make it sound as if they are unintelligent or if you are wiser or better than them or if you are their boss.

Remember that as you know how to speak, they also know how to hear. When a discussion becomes hot and unbearable, learn how to pipe down so that the other person knows you are going a long way to preserve the relationship.

Quality Time:
Dedicate quality time to spend with the people you care about. Create shared experiences and memories. When you see anything funny online, care to share it with them.

Let them know that you are bonded with them permanently. When you are with them, don’t behave as if they are wasting your time or you are tired of their presence.

Empathy:
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Understand and validate their feelings. Pay close attention when your friend is talking. Put away distractions like phones or other devices.

Make eye contact to show that you’re fully engaged. Acknowledge your friend’s feelings and experiences. Let them know that their emotions are valid and that you understand.

Support:
Offer emotional support during challenging times. Encourage and be a reliable presence. If you heard that your friend lost their spouse, you should be the first person in his house if you are living in the same city.

He lost his mother or father, and the body is being taken to the village for burial, and you must be there. You should do all the processes together. Some of you think such people are too busy to note your absence. Do you think he didn’t notice it? People are spraying him at his party. Some gave him money towards the party. You didn’t provide any.

Do you think he doesn’t know? A guy sends you money from London all the time. Do you think he is foolish? These are the things we call investment in relationships.

Gratitude:
Express appreciation for the positive aspects of the relationship. Acknowledge and thank the other person for their contributions. The best way to show gratitude is to reciprocate the good things done to you.

Invest in Personal Growth:
Encourage each other’s personal and professional development. Share and discuss goals, dreams, and aspirations. When you notice your friend is not doing well or up to your expectations, there is no reason you don’t draw his attention to him.

Apologise and Forgive:
Apologise when necessary and forgive others for their mistakes. Let go of grudges to maintain a healthy and positive atmosphere. When you are involved in a relationship with a person higher than you, remember to humble yourself always.

Regard that relationship as a privilege. When you are with them, keep quiet and learn. Don’t go there to show you also have opinions, are educated, or have read more than them. You quickly become a nuisance to them, and they could stop you from seeing them.

If you once mess up with them, learn to apologise with all sense of regret so as not to shut yourself off from their presence. Top people like this have nothing to lose from a lowly person because they have so many of you around them.

It is you who have little or none of such people around you. You can only benefit from the honour of the people you honour.

Celebrate Achievements:
Acknowledge and celebrate each other’s successes. Share in the joy of accomplishments, big or small. Celebrate the birthday of spouses and children together.

Be fully present in the moment and always remember to involve one another in events.