WHY I CAN’T HELP MY HUSBAND OR WHY I HAVE NOT

WHY I CANT HELP MY HUSBAND OR WHY I HAVE NOT HELPED MY HUSBAND

Uncle Bola, i have been reading your posts for a long time now. I just read that one on your magazine, www.elifeonline.net on why men are not comfortable with wives that are richer than them. I observe that so many people, especially men say a lot of rubbish on we women as if they men are not the source and origin of the reaction of we women most of the times, if not all of the time.

I attended a women prayer meeting in one of the ……. Churches about four weeks ago. I was invited there by a friend and the pastor preached on Helpmate or something like that. He said God is placing women in big positions in life and we women have taken over the economic leadership in so many homes. But we women have not been able to manage success that is why so many homes are troubled. He said so many women become bumptious and arrogant immediately we make big money or earn more than our husbands. I dont think this is right. Pastors should not speak like that. They should not generalise. I dont think all women should be classified as same. Let you men also check yourselves and see why would your wives not help you if they are richer.

So many women would not tell their husbands how much they earn because you men cannot stomach our successes. An example of such men is my husband and his fathers house.

I got married to him almost 15 years ago. We have a blissful home until 2007 when things suddenly started happening. he lost his job at the bank and since then he has not been able to come bank. Its like most people when they get out of banks, they have problems to adjust. My husband has not found his foot till date. I work at …….. and my salary and allowance monthly is almost seven digits. I know i am ok. Thank God. And my husband is at home. he is not hungry. he has cars to drive and i make sure i give him about 150k monthly. I am somewhat pleased by his condition because i have peace at home. My husband does not complain but his family and some people around, that i should set him up in business. i dont know their problems that i cant help my husband. How many of them can i tell this secret i want to share today so that some men who run their mouths would know that we women, or some of us are not foolish.

In my husbands family, they are polygamous. All his brothers have two three wives. ALL OF THEM. he is the last born. Their stories are alike. they all have issues with their jobs and it is their wives who help them back on their foot. Once they make it in life, they end up marrying the second wives and the first wives are always sent out or abandoned. the women whom God used to make them.

I never knew this story until the time my husband lost his job and we had a naming ceremony of our last child. The first wives, the four of them came at different times. They all told me the same story, how all their husbands lost their jobs, how the women helped them up and how they abandoned them. Same stories. The same thing happened to my husband. And i am afraid same thing would happen to me. Am i a fool? I dont want to be told we warned you. even their father was polygamous. The father of that one too was polygamous. All their uncles are. But i have promised God that it will not happen in my own house. if he wants to be, he is free to go and make his money but i wont use my hand to do myself.

As i said, i am not arrogant. My husband trusts me. He even said so to some of his friends that he has an obedient wife. And God sees my heart that i have Never cheated on my husband ever since we got married. And i will not. I keep a level and godly head. I love my husband but the prospect of a very certain second wife is scary. But that redeemed pastor praying that any wife holding her husband down. I am not holding my husband down. That pastor should go and do his research on why we women act the way they act.

Uncle Bola, I believe i am in order.

A.T