Recently, making an unscheduled visit to a friend, I met the couple having a heated argument. I almost turned back to allow them sort themselves out but the heat of their altercation necessitated my intervention. If I had left, there was a great likelihood that it could degenerate to the man hitting his wife. What happened?
The man was speaking to his daughter to study hard for the forthcoming university entrance examination called JAMB and the wife said, “You are now advising Tinuke to pass JAMB. When we asked you for money to buy the JAMB form, you nearly brought the roof down. Now you are talking as if you have any moral right to talk JAMB”
My friend was angry. He felt his wife was rubbing it in because he couldn’t pay for the form when it was out. One thing led to the other… and the wife retorted that … “You are not the only one paying the school fees, as you are paying, I am also paying. There is nothing you do solely in this house. It has been 50-50, if not 70 from me and 30 from you.”
It was too much for my friend’s ego. His ego was bruised, in fact battered! Like some men would do when confronted with facts and figures and couldn’t match the salvos from the women, he was ready to hit her!
WIVES, BE CAREFUL WITH THE EGOS OF YOUR HUSBANDS
Hello wives, when you contribute to your homes, when you assist your husbands, it’s not enough grounds to disrespect them or injure their egos. You can do anything to your husbands, but don’t injure their egos as the head. The biggest thing every man requires of his wife is not food or sex. RESPECT! You can show him facts and figures, but with wisdom!
When I succeeded in taking my friend out of the scene to my library, where we sat over some bottles of wine and Nkwobi, (which he could barely eat because he was still hurting from the bruises on his ego), I shared some basic truths with him:
BEING A MAN
“I have come to know that if you have to be the man of the house, there are some basic responsibilities that are STRICTLY yours. These are:
1. Accommodation
2. Education
3. Feeding
My man, under no circumstance must you look up to your wife to perform these responsibilities.
“Now, don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that women should not contribute or help. So many times the husband is unable to do much, may be because he is out of employment or cash strapped. If the wife comes in to help, as she should, she is only helping. The husband should grateful to her. It is not her duty to feed him or pay school fees or buy JAMB form.
“Going back to the basics, the man saw this woman somewhere and invited her to be his wife! One of the things every man would say to make a woman accept to marry him is… “I will and I am able to take care of you. He made her leave her father’s house to his house. He made her drop her father’s name to bear his name. She therefore becomes his responsibility. As the head and owner of the new home bearing your name, Wake up! my man, to your responsibilities!
NATURE OF A WOMAN
“The nature of a woman is to receive, incubate and produce.
* Give her a seed, she incubates it and gives you a bouncy baby.
*Give her money, she plans with it and puts good food on your table.
* Initiate an idea, a well trained wife processes it and gives you a reality
* Put her under a roof, she takes care of it and gives you a home.
The Bible is not joking when it says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favour from God!
“Women have their fantasies. If she has enough of her own, she expects the man to do the first giving. If a woman has a $million in her account, she still wants the man to walk the talk, to prove his manliness and promise to take care of her with the $100 in his pocket before she downloads her $millions.
“My friend, wake up to the fact that the Bible classifies you as worse than an infidel, if you are unable to cater for your family! WAKE UP! Put your house in order. Women are created to HELP not to be used as beasts of burden.”
