This broadcast is for men only on their Old Age. This is men's talk. I wish to talk to my gender to be sensitive to the realities on the ground. In
This broadcast is for men only on their Old Age. This is men’s talk. I wish to talk to my gender to be sensitive to the realities on the ground.
In this Men’s Parliament broadcast, I am not speaking to women. If, by chance, this video gets to any woman, kindly delete it now.
If you are watching this already, kindly stop it and waka. I am waiting for you. If you don’t delete it, I won’t speak again.
* Old age in Africa can be agonising!
Ok, all women have gone. That’s good. Now, guys, let us talk. This programme is the Men’s Parliament. No woman is watching. Let women dey my dey, and we guys, we dey our dey.
My guy, in these few years I have spent on this terrestrial divide, I have seen how life treats us men, or some of us, especially in our old age.
I have seen men work, labour, and sweat throughout their youthful lives on their wives and children, and I have also seen how many men, not all, many, ended up, either out of their carelessness or the conspiracy of people involved in the equation. Let me start this narrative with this old story of how fathers are unappreciated in many instances.
PAINS OF FATHERS
A child requested ten thousand naira from the father. The father carefully inquired about the purpose. After thoughtful consideration, the father promised to provide the amount the following day before heading to work.
However, the father spent a restless night as the requested sum constituted his last available cash. He was under so much pressure on how he would survive the rest of the week, but as a father, he must meet his responsibility to his son.
In the morning, the father called his child and handed him nine thousand naira, leaving only one thousand for himself for the week.
The child, displeased, expressed his dissatisfaction and reluctantly thanked his father, who had to manage the balance.
Observing the situation, the mother intervened, inviting the son to her room and providing him with the balance of one thousand naira to fulfil his desired total.
The son’s face lit up with a sudden smile, leading him to express gratitude on social media, declaring his mother the best.
He did not remember that the father had coughed out nine thousand! This is how most people treat the fathers. They don’t see their contributions.
Meanwhile, the father ventured out again with only one thousand naira, tasked with using it for fuel or transportation to work.
Despite inner struggles and unspoken tears, societal expectations dictated that men remain silent and resilient in facing challenges.
The father persevered through the day, unnoticed in his emotional turmoil. But the mother graces social media as the saviour of the child! This is the sad experience of most fathers.
Let me go deeper in this narrative.
My guy, as you work hard to train your children and make your wife proud, don’t forget to have something for yourself in your old age. May you not be begging your children to eat in your old age. Remember, women can be jumping from one son’s house to another daughter’s house. Not so for men.
Can I tell you the truth? You are a stranger in that family you call yours today. That house you struggled to build is not yours. It is for your wife and the children! Seriously! I will tell you a story.
A friend sent me a story recently. Let me quote him here: “My grandfather told me that a married man is like a tractor that builds a road, does it very nicely, but when the road is completed, they bring a low loader and carry the tractor away, claiming it will spoil the road! That tractor is never allowed to step on the road it built!
“Same is the case of we married men. We deny ourselves, get loans, wear used clothes, etc, to see our children through high schools, universities, etc., because we believe the only gift we can give them is quality education. When they are old enough, the fathers often become dispensable.
20 FACTS OF LIFE A MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIS 50s
The attention of most children, not all, I mean most children, shifts to their mothers. Maybe these mothers poison their minds against their fathers; who knows? You hear a typical mother use languages like …
“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have gone to school.
“I sold all my gold, trinkets, wrappers to send you to school.
“Your father was only interested in alcohol and women while I suffered to pay your fees!”
(Now, the tractor that built the road is being carried away!)
“Once the child starts working, the father could have retired. When he comes to visit his parents, the poor father is given five thousand naira in the presence of the mother, while the mother pulls him to the kitchen to collect fifty times what the father got… and the father doesn’t know what the mother got!
“Once the child drives off, the father is told to bring money from his pittance to buy this and that, buy sugar to prepare tea unless he wants to drink tea without sugar. These are some of the reasons men die early!
“A mother flies abroad to visit her children or do what the Igbo people call Omorgwo while the father sits at home, buying and eating bread and ewa agonyin every morning!
After six months abroad, she returns home fresh to meet her husband licking palm oil in ewa agonyin!”
OLD AGE
Old age could be lonely and agonising for men who did not plan for it. May you not become a liability to your children in your old age. May your children not wish you early death when they can’t manage you again in your old age.
To live a happy old age,
* Build your own house where you will live in your old age.
* Build businesses, preferably properties, that feed you in your old age.
* Create conveniences, and start learning things that will engage you in your old age.
* Build friendship and goodwill that will serve you in your old age.
* Right now, start to be relevant in your Church and community so you can be reckoned with in your old age.
Old age could be lonely. An old age without money in your pocket is a slow, agonising death sentence! Be warned. Take action NOW…!
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