40 QUESTIONS FOR PETER NWACHUKWU, OSINACHI’S HUSBAND – By Bola Adewara

When we see men like Peter Nwachukwu, Osinachi’s husband, it is not sufficient to condemn them for their acts or send them to prison, if found culpable of any wrongdoing. We need to look beyond their superficials and check the superstructure, how such men are made and how not to, wittingly or unwittingly, push our sons into the moral brackets. I have forty questions for men like Peter Nwachukwu.

Believe me; there are still one million and one of Osinachi’s husbands in many homes. Husbands who are ready to pounce on their wives at the slightest provocation. Men who think women must work and feed them. Men who think women are donkeys to be beaten with the cane ‘anytime they mess up’.

I feel our reactions to Osinachi’s husband are emotions without direction. We are grieving without looking at how to prevent the next Mr Nwachukwu from happening and how their generation would diminish from this terrestrial ball.

NEGLECTING THE BOY CHILD

Our society cares so much about the girl-child and women. So many NGOs and churches have programs for them. State and federal governments have ministries for them. We tend to care for and mentor the girl child and women more without looking at the ways of the boy child and men.

So many men and husbands are in the gradual process of deformation because of societal pressure and economic challenges. We tend to overlook that not all men have the capacity or supportive system to regenerate their abilities and acts. When we tend to have partial attention to women, there is no way the likes of Nwachukwu would not take over our society.

Most boys are now unmentored. We allow them to carry on with the traditional thoughts of entitlements, seeing women as their properties, their beasts of burden, having no right to say NO to anything. It will shock you to know that the blood traits of Nwachukwu is running deep in so many young men waiting to become husbands in a short while.

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To rid our society of these traits, Osinachi’s husband and his ilks should be used as specimens in our social laboratories. We need to sit them down and probe their hearts. Their answers would be scrutinised to mentor the younger generation of men on how to treat women.

* Osinachi

Please, permit me to ask Mr Peter Nwachukwu, Osinachi’s husband some penetrating, very personal questions about his relationship with Osinachi. We need to go this far to sociologically unravel how the beasts in all Nwachukwu are given birth to and grow to become the source of tears we are all shedding today.

Below are forty questions I desire to ask all Nwachukwu in our society, given the opportunity.

40 QUESTIONS FOR PETER NWACHUKWU

1. When you were growing up, did you like women generally? Did you mix with them? Did you have a relationship before Osinachi?
2. What have you seen of Nigerian women?
3. When someone offends you or makes a mistake, how do you think such errors can be rectified. By beating the person or words of mouth?
4. How did you meet Osinachi? When, where and what were you doing then?
5. Did you chase her for a long time before she fell in love with you, or did she force herself on you cheaply or tie you down with pregnancy?
6. Did you tell her you to love her and you want to marry her?
7. Did you court her for some time before agreeing to marry one another?
8. Did you hit, slap, abuse her when you were courting and what was her reaction to it?
9. During courtship, did you ever tell her you are not doing it again, and she began to beg you?
10. For how many years are you married now?
11. Do you still find her attractive?
12. When was the last time you made love to her?
13. Do you still kiss her ordinarily or only when making love?
14. Do you still tell your wife, ‘I love you?’
15. When was the first time you beat her, and what did she do that day?
16. Why do you beat, and after beating, does it gladdens your heart and satisfy you?
17. The first day you beat her, how did she react to it? Did you apologise, or she was the one begging you?
18. Does the tears of the woman you sleep with means anything to you?
19. Your dad must have beaten your mum repeatedly in your presence as a child. Yes or no?
20. I am sure when your dad beat your mum, her ‘head correct one time’. That is why you believe in beating women. Right?
21. Is that why you told your children that it is good to beat women?
22. You have a daughter. How would you feel if she comes home someday with swollen eyes, two teeth are gone, blood all over her, and she said her husband did this to her. I am sure you will shake the hands of the husband for doing a good job. Right?
23. Do you hate women? Has any woman wronged you, and you are out to visit the bitterness on one of them?
24. What about work? Do you think it is right to collect the money a woman makes and spend it as if it’s yours?
25. As a proud Ndigbo, don’t you think there is shame in being fed by your wife when you have the strength to beat her and not using the same power to work and make money?
26. Did you catch your wife in adultery, and you are ashamed to show you are jealous, and the only way to express it is by beating her?
27. What do you think of divorce. Why not send her away rather than beat her?
28. Now that she is dead, was that your real intention: frustrate her till death?
29. Does her songs minister to you?
30. When you are getting angry and thinking of beating her, how do you lose control of yourself and pounce on her? How does love disappear at that moment?
31. When you see your wife in a sad mood, does it worry you?
32. Have you ever said sorry to your wife?
33. What is it that your wife does that makes you angry? Sex denial? Lacks respect and submission? Do you suspect men are after her? Do you feel inferior to her?
34. Are you jealous that your wife is thriving and more famous than you? Does it worry you?
35. When you are making love to your wife, is there communication, a communion from you to her? Or is your sex with her just a mechanical thing to relieve yourself of agro?
36. When people talk about your wife outside or you see them dancing to her songs, does it make you proud that they are talking about your wife?
37. Have you ever sat down with your wife to critique her songs and make suggestions?
38. What is your relationship with your pastor and the Church? Are you active in any fellowships in the Church? Does the leader of the Men’s Fellowship know you?
39. Now that your wife is dead, what do you think of life without her?
40. How soon will you remarry? Do you have a woman in mind?

Conclusively, my reader, please, the likes of Osinachi’s husband should not just be sent to prison if found guilty of anything. The ministry of women’s affairs, the Church or journalists around him should sit him down for questioning. We need to prove their minds.

Does this make sense?